Arc provided by Julie Patra Publishing through Netgalley
I knew, right near the beginning, that this would be bad. Let me give you the exact moment I realised this:
"I can’t seem to make myself reach for the envelope and my gaze goes to my image in the mirror, to my long white-blond hair I’ve worn draped around my shoulders tonight rather than tied at my nape, and done so as a proud reflection of the heritage of my Swedish mother I’m tired of denying. Gone too are the dark-rimmed glasses I’ve often used to hide the pale blue eyes both of my parents had shared, making it too easy for me to see the empty shell of a person I’ve become."
Why is this familiar?
Perhaps because it's the standard Mary Sue intro. Seriously, the difference between this and:
"Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!)."
Is that My Immortal does it on purpose.
I made myself read the whole thing, because I did request this from netgalley, so I can only blame myself here. Not that I would need to keep reading because what came afterwards was completely obvious:
"And that’s when the room falls away, when my gaze collides with his. He is sitting in a seat that faces me, one row between us, his features handsomely carved, his dark hair a thick, rumpled finger temptation. He’s dressed in faded jeans and a dark blue tshirt, but he could just as easily be wearing a finely fitted suit and tie. He is older than me, maybe thirty, but there is a worldliness, a sense of control and confidence, about him that reaches beyond years. He is money, power, and sex, and while I cannot make out the color of his eyes, I don’t need to. All that matters is that he is one hundred percent focused on me, and me on him."
Yes. Insta-love. Followed by some inane dialogue with such gems as the main character smiling because the love interest said, and I quote, "sleepy." I'm not kidding, that's seriously all it takes:
“That’s what you said that made me smile. You don’t seem like a man who’d say sleepy’.”
"Maybe I'm being too harsh," I thought to myself. There are plenty of awkward beginings, but the characters are well written, and relatable.
Not here, I'm afraid.
Amy just got a new identity, she needs to leave her entire life behind and become a whole different person because she's in danger, so what does she do? She reads through the paperwork she has to memorise about her new identity while sitting next to a complete stranger on a plane.
Whom she wants to trust because... well, because.
While leafing through these confidential files (which she lets him grab from her hands) she then falls asleep and has a nightmare, from which she wakes up screaming. Then there's some more nonsensical dialogue:
"“And hey—at least there weren’t any hippos crossing the road in this nightmare. I’ve had that one a time or two, as well. Actually, I don’t think the hippos felt like nightmares. Just strange dreams.”"
Who sits down, writes this, and thinks, "Yeah, this sounds like a completely plausible conversation for a runaway to have with a complete stranger."? You can either write a naïve quirky girl, or a hardened runaway. You can't do both.
Well, obviously you can, since it was done, what I mean is you can't realisticaly do both.
Maybe it's the romantic things he says?
“You’re a beautiful woman who deserves to be properly fucked, which I conclude from both your actions and answers to my questions, that you have not been. I want to be the man to remedy that. I want it very much.”
Okay, so that's a no, too.
I can't say anything about what little there is of a plot without spoiling it, so I won't, but suffice to say it's extremely weak and peppered with overblown drama.
So, in conclusion: Mary-Sue, too stupid to live main character, plus insta-love with Gary-Stue, multimillionaire genius, over controlling love interest.
Lisa Renee Jones' official site
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