Monday, 22 September 2014

The Crystal Slipper by Selena Fulton

 Arc provided by Entangled Publishing through Netgalley

Release Date: September 22 nd
DNF at 35%

It is only very rarely that my inner book snob makes an appearance.
I read almost every literary genre, and if a book has an interesting plot, and if it is well written, I don't care who wrote it, or what the book is all about.

But when I start reading something that is so inane, so devoid of imagination, and so full of clichés, you can bet all you want, that my inner bookish snob, does make an appearance.
Loud and screaming!

First of all, to describe an office as "posh" is not what I consider to put your imagination and your descriptive abilities to use.
That, did give me a warning.

Second of all, this is a contemporary romance with traces of paranormal in it, this means that us readers need to know why is it, that conversations of enchantments, magic and so on, don't bother the rest of the secondary characters that deal with the main "special" characters, such as Preston and his family.

I don't know about you...but if someone were to tell me that he was on the prowl for some magical shoe, I would need some serious explanations...
So what is it, with Preston's family?
Why are they so special? Why did he grow up with a witch? A real magical one?

These were things I needed to know in the first pages of the book, so I wouldn't feel as if I had landed by parachute in the middle of something, I had no idea....what!

Then, the categorization of women according to the level of makeup and jewellery they use?
Really? In our time and age?
The woman clearly had expensive taste, wore gaudy jewelry and too much makeup."
So do you! (except for the makeup... at least I hope  you don't...)
The guy wears a gold pinkie ring, and he wants to talk about people's taste?

Are you kidding me?
What is this?
Some long forgotten novel of the eighties?

Hey, feminism, were are thee???
Because I read a couple of hundreds of harlequin novels in my teens, and those had these type "of plot" going on for them....
And if back then it was bearable to read, now I am afraid I'll just have to call this a lazy work.

Also reading a book that should be a retelling of what... Cinderella?
You're supposed to have a nice guy _ or at least a somewhat redeemable guy_... the so called prince that is. That doesn't have to be rich, or to have a castle, or a Mercedes to be a women's prince charming!!
(there the essence of retellings and all that...)

What you're supposed to have _somewhat _ is a nice guy.
Now, this _piece of crap! _ is not a nice guy!
Sure, he and Raven had talked about marriage. What adolescent didn’t allow a dreamy-eyed girl to talk such things in order to win a kiss? Or more? At that time, all he could think about was having a girl in his arms, and to see how far he could get.
Raven had been more than happy to oblige.
Because its always the woman's fault, right?

And even if I don't finish this, I know where this is going...because this is that basic.
So, the poor guy simply hadn't met the right woman, who will be his one and only, and they'll live happily ever after...
Something else about her bothered him. Why couldn’t he get the polite librarian out of his mind? He’d only met her a few times, had dinner with her once. A shy thing, she was intelligent, he could see it in her eyes, but there was something more. She had a vulnerable, almost innocent quality about her, and it made him yearn for more.
You hear that ladies?
Be meek. Be quiet. Be innocent, and you may find your own jackass prince.

And I'm done.

In the last page I read, the guy was giving her a bracelet and telling her that she could keep all the presents he was going to give her, while he was going to try to make her fall in love with him...not because he loves her...but because due to the curse that afflicts his family, he has to make a poor schmuk fall in love with him.
 The only positive side is that said schmuk is aware of this situation. So, she's not only a schmuk and a doormat. She's also an idiot.
A lonesome idiot, but an idiot nonetheless.

Sorry, but I don't read contemporary stories in which women are waiting for a idiot charming, rich man to come bearing gifts and save them.

Buy " The Crystal Slipper"

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