Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Finding Mr. Brightside by Jay Clark


Arc provided by Mcmillan's Children Publishing Group

Release Date: March 24th


Well....I'll be... darn :/
You see, I find myself in a bit of a predicament, mainly because everything I feel like saying about this story... would not be polite, which in some sort of cosmic response would be more than appropriate, because this isn't a polite book.

This is more like a f****d up one, where the characters are supposed to be deep and intense, and because of that who cares if one of the main characters uses words like, "retarded", "that Asian", "the Asian "..that rare breed of slutty Asian (..), "slut" and "whore"
_________
Wait, I care!
 Its offensive, and it makes me wonder how in HELL did this managed to be published?!
I understand that even idiots deserve love, and as so, Juliette and Abram are pretty much perfect for one another.
Juliette may be more _lets say _ active in the offensive comments department, but Abram doesn't seem to have a compunction to what she says, and also goes along with the "that Asian" remarks.
The thing is, Abram could be interested in Julliette _ I don't know why in fact...apparently they had never talked to one another prior to their parents death _ and point out to her, that she was being a jerk with all that racists comments..but he doesn't, and later on, to make matters even worse ends up falling into a slut shaming situation.
(just because he doesn't say it aloud, it still counts)

As if all of this still wasn't enough, what had me practically screaming is that _unless I'm mistaken_, this book's target audience are teenage girls... who will be reading a book full of crap about women... when instead this should be directed at boys who don't know shit about them.

Amongst the many off-hand remarks casually thrown that made me want to gag _trying to keep up with the book's mentality, yay! _ are:
The comment that Juliette does, on how could Abram have been so patient for their make out session, when her body isn't you know? Perfect, because there's so many available sluts around!
Oh, and the one in which she asks herself why can't she be a whore for two seconds?
Oh, and the one in which she says she's on the pill purely due to some health issues, not because she's a whore!

Is this some kind of unspoken rule?
Does every single female leading character written by a guy have to be made into a mental case?
Yes?
Does it feed the White Knight syndrome?
Oh... I see... in that case, mission accomplished.

Misogynistic BS 
When one reaches the end of book and starts evaluating  characters and behaviours, one thing pops out. And that is the fact, that with the exception of Abram's mother and "facebook" aunt, the other female characters with bigger roles "aren't nice people" according to our troubled teens :

There's Juliette's mother who was a conniving bitch who cheated on her father poor indolent bastard who apparently didn't care about anything while his wife was alive, and as if that wasn't enough she also got her daughter addicted to pills, because nothing says "I love you honey" as: Here, take one of my Adderall's !
Apparently the mother had no problem in sharing what was hers with her daughter: clothes, shoes, belts, pills :/
Bad mother.
____

Then there's the ASIAN slutty girl"_ARGH! REALLY? You don't see nothing wrong with this?
This girl,_we are told_ apparently  lets Abram copy on classes _which makes her stupid_, also according to him she's a sex freak because she wanted his penis _which makes her naive_...but he succeeded in resisting her wiles! Because that's what teenage boys do..they save themselves for the LOVE of their lives at the age of seventeen ( I guess this is some sort of Christian fiction?)
In fact I can totally see Abram saying something along the lines of this to "that Asian girl":
*No, you shall not have my dick! I am saving my dick for Juliette!* ~sarcasm~

And here's slut shaming... directed at a "character" that never makes an appearance. We never see the girl as anything more than a recipient for Juliette's offences.

Finally there's Juliette and her mental basket popping pills and checking guys _well one guy...because if she checked more asses that would probably make her you know, slutty_ asses... case, because let's face it girls, there's nothing more appealing than this!!
(We get a lot of references to Abram's "fashion statement"...oh and in the case that that wasn't the idea, there's this wonderful thing called BELTS.)
baggy pants saggy fail
 HOT, right ladies?
:/
______
So, yes, the only woman worth of anything in this book is Abram's mother, which leads me to this very important point...
Guy's mothers are sacred.
Everyone else... isn't... except, if you're a mental pixie girl case, in which case guys will be falling hard for you!;)
Why?
R: No idea. I guess it was in the script.



The writing is meh.
The plot... where was it?
The character development is missing in action.
The changing pov's are annoying because both characters sound the same!

A basic story on how the love of a good man boy will redeem a lost woman girl featuring a bat-shit load of crap, prejudices, and many other YA nonsenses.

p.s- I am very much aware that after this review, I'll probably never EVER be approved for any other arc provided by this publisher.
This is my honest review/rant.


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